Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
