Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
