So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
