Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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