how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize