I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
