the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
