Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
