You can't motorboat a personality
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
