just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
