so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
