Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
are you so shy because you have an std?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
