I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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