Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
