He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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