you're like a bully in the Christmas story
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
