you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
My vagina is very pro this idea
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
