I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
