I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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