Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
as a side note pls kill me
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize