so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
