I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
