Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
