tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Randomize
