he wants to bone in the snuggie
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
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