what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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