thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
