i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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