Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I am available for nakedness
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize