Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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