Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
