Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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