my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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