Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
