YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
