His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
