I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
