I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
