I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
