She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
