He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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