is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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