I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
youre lurking in front of me
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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