Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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