my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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