i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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