I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
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