:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize