i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
