I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
