is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
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