Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
