i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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