tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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