I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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