ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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