Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
