Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Randomize
