Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
