The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
