her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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