I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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