Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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