Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Randomize
