I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
No I am not eating basil off your cock
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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