Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
