Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
he just fucked me for my cheese..
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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