i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
