still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
